Women provide most unpaid caregiving in the U.S. As the population ages, that invisible labor is becoming unsustainable.
As a gerontologist, I have spent my career studying the complex realities of aging, family systems and long-term care. Yet my understanding of caregiving did not begin in a classroom or a research lab. It began in my grandmother’s living room.
When I was young, my grandmother became the primary caregiver for her own mother, who had been told she had roughly a year to live. Instead, she lived another decade. Her extended life was not the result of a breakthrough medical intervention but of something far more ordinary: consistent meals, medication management, social connection and the steady presence of family. These seemingly simple acts—ensuring she ate well, moved throughout the day and remained engaged—transformed her quality of life.
Today, I am watching a similar story unfold from the opposite direction. My grandmother is now the one receiving care, and she has moved in with my aunt—her daughter.
Our family is again rallying around an aging loved one. But even in a large, supportive family, the day-to-day responsibility falls overwhelmingly on an adult daughter. My aunt is part of what we call the “sandwich generation”: caring for an aging parent while raising children of her own. We all help where we can, but the mental load, the coordination and the emotional labor rest largely on her shoulders.
This is not a unique story. It is the story of caregiving. And it is a story that disproportionately belongs to women.
The Gendered Reality of Caregiving
Women … the appointment schedulers, medication managers, financial coordinators and emotional anchors.
Despite decades of progress toward gender equity, caregiving remains deeply gendered.
Women continue to provide the majority—61 percent—of unpaid caregiving in this country, according to 2025 report from AARP. They are the appointment schedulers, medication managers, financial coordinators and emotional anchors. They are the ones who leave work early, rearrange schedules and absorb the invisible labor that keeps older adults safe and supported.
Caregiving can be an act of profound love. It can strengthen bonds, preserve dignity and allow older adults to remain in the homes they cherish. But it can also take a toll.
Women who juggle caregiving alongside careers and parenting face higher risks of burnout, depression and chronic health conditions. The triple role of worker, mother and caregiver is not simply demanding—it is unsustainable without meaningful support.
A Perfect Storm We Can No Longer Ignore
We are on a demographic collision course in this country. Birth rates are falling, while the “Silver Tsunami” is rising. By 2030, older adults will outnumber children for the first time in U.S. history. This means fewer young people, more aging adults and a caregiving crisis that is already straining families and healthcare systems.
We cannot build a sustainable care economy on invisible, unpaid labor. If we fail to modernize and invest in real care infrastructure, we will continue asking women to absorb a crisis that belongs to all of us.
Aging in Place Requires More Than Good Intentions
Most older adults—nearly 90 percent—want to age in place, preserving their autonomy, identity and social connections. But that typically requires planning, coordination and often outside support.
Professional home care is how we turn family love into sustainable support. Trained paid caregivers, like those provided by Home Instead, can offer respite, hands-on care and peace of mind: companionship, help with daily tasks (meals, bathing, errands), memory care support and respite care.
They allow daughters to remain daughters—not full-time care coordinators.
The triple role of worker, mother and caregiver is not simply demanding, it is unsustainable without meaningful support.
Technology, too, has become an essential part of the caregiving ecosystem. Caregiving today looks different than it did a generation ago, and tools that improve communication and transparency can meaningfully reduce the mental load. Home Instead’s family app, Honor, is one example. It allows families to stay connected to their loved one’s care in real time—reviewing schedules, reading care notes and communicating directly with our caregivers. For long-distance family members, and even those living in the same home, this transparency provides reassurance that their loved one is safe, supported and engaged.
These innovations matter. But they must be part of a broader cultural shift. It’s easy to see the pressure building on a new generation of caregivers—women who are holding up a care system that was never designed with their multi-dimensional lives in mind.
A Call to Action
To honor our mothers, grandmothers, aunts and all the women who raised us with systems that support them as they age and as they care for aging loved ones, we must:
- Support family caregivers by providing access to the education, tools and resources needed to navigate care with confidence.
- Leverage technology to ease the mental load of caregiving.
- Normalize asking for help, recognizing that professional care is a partnership, not a failure.
- Redesign the care economy to reflect how people actually live today.
- Ensure the next generation of caregivers does not have to choose between their careers, their children, and their aging parents.
If we want a future where aging in place is possible, dignified and sustainable, we must stop relying on women to shoulder the burden alone. The health of our families—and our aging society—depends on it.
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